The Justice Minds Process  ·  Live Dialogue

The Honour is Mine: How Sahd Stopped Apologising for Speaking Three Languages

A man who speaks three languages walked into a four-minute conversation and apologised for his English within six seconds. This is the story of what happened next — moment by moment, word by word — and why it changed the way he speaks to the world.

This article is interactive. Each stage below contains the actual video clip. Watch Sahd in the moment, then read what is happening beneath the surface of the dialogue — what he is carrying, what shifts, and why. You are not reading about a process. You are inside someone's transformation.

Who Sahd Is Before the Call Begins

Before we hear a single word, we need to understand what Sahd carries into this conversation.

Sahd speaks three languages. Not as a party trick — as a lived reality. He has learned to think, feel, argue, comfort, negotiate, and dream in multiple tongues. That is not a small thing. That is an extraordinary cognitive and cultural achievement that most people on earth will never come close to.

And yet — somewhere along the way — Sahd has absorbed a belief. A quiet, persistent, deeply embedded belief that when he is in an English-speaking space, he is the one who is deficient. That his third language, measured against someone's first, is something to apologise for. That the burden of communication falls on him — the person reaching furthest — rather than on the person who has never had to reach at all.

This is not Sahd's failing. It is what happens when you grow up multilingual in a world that treats English monolingualism as the default standard of intelligence and competence.

He doesn't know he's carrying it. That's the whole point. And it shows up in the first six seconds.
What shifts in Sahd at each stage:
Cultural Awareness
Self-Concept
Voice & Presence
Developmental Shift
Power & Authority

The Dialogue — Stage by Stage

Stage 1 0:00 The First Six Seconds
Ben This is the first time you've ever spoke. And you've got an amazing English as well, which I think is brilliant. Sahd Oh yeah, your English is really good — but I'm sorry for my English. I know that my English is not that great. I am just trying to make you understand. That's my point.
What is happening in Sahd here

Listen to what Sahd does before he says anything of substance. He apologises. Twice. He diminishes himself. And then he reframes his entire purpose in this conversation as a courtesy to Ben — "I am just trying to make you understand."

This is not shyness. It is not politeness. It is something learned — possibly over decades — of being a multilingual person in English-speaking spaces. The belief Sahd has absorbed, somewhere along the way, is this: your presence in this language is a problem you need to manage for the people around you. You owe them an apology for the effort of understanding you.

That belief is so deep it doesn't feel like a belief. It feels like a fact. Notice how Sahd says: "I know that my English is not that great." Not "I worry" or "I feel." He knows. It has been confirmed, in his experience, many times — by impatient expressions, by repeated requests to speak up, by the subtle signals English-speaking rooms give to people who arrive in them differently. This is what makes it harder than ordinary insecurity to shift. It is not a fear. It is a conclusion. And it arrived before the conversation even started.

Self-Concept Cultural Awareness Voice & Presence
Stage 2 0:16 Sahd Mentions His Third Language Like a Footnote
Ben Oh, I can understand you clearly. I think you're very articulate and I've got no doubt what you say — so don't worry. Sahd Actually, to be honest — my third language. That is this. Brilliant.
What is happening in Sahd here

Sahd mentions it almost as a footnote that completely transforms the picture: this is his third language. Ben files that immediately — not as curiosity, as evidence.

The word "articulate" is deliberate and precise. Ben does not say "clear" or "understandable." Articulate means structured, organised, intelligent. It is a compliment aimed at the mind behind the words, not the words themselves. Ben is already beginning to separate Sahd's intelligence from his linguistic medium — because he can hear they have been fused together in Sahd's self-concept.

Sahd's response — "that is this. Brilliant." — is fractured syntax, but the feeling is delight. He is surprised that his third language qualifies as brilliant to a native speaker. That surprise is data. It tells Ben exactly how low a bar Sahd has set for himself.

Self-Concept Developmental Shift Voice & Presence
Stage 3 0:35 The World Turns Upside Down — and Feels True
Ben You should not be apologizing for speaking to someone who is English. They should be apologizing to you — because they only probably speak half English, and that's bad English, not even proper English. So never does.
What shifts in Sahd here

This is the frame inversion. The most structurally important move in the entire conversation.

Ben does not say "your English is good enough." That would be a reassurance — a pat on the head that leaves the hierarchy intact. Sahd would still be the person being judged by the English standard, just passing it slightly better than he thought.

Instead, Ben dismantles the hierarchy itself. He relocates the embarrassment — from Sahd, who speaks three languages, to the monolingual English speaker who has never had to reach beyond their own tongue. The person who should feel shame in this equation is not Sahd. It is the person who only speaks one language and expects the world to meet them in it.

This is decolonisation in real time. What Frantz Fanon called the "epidermalization of inferiority" — the internalisation of colonial shame as personal identity — Ben names and inverts in a single breath. The shame is correctly re-assigned to the system that produced it, not to the person who absorbed it.

Cultural Awareness Self-Concept Power & Authority
Stage 4 0:52 Sahd Compliments the Accent — and Reveals the Wound
Sahd Your English, you know, is imaging. I think you were — yeah. You have the British accent. That is really — you everything to hear the D's really beautiful. I hope have that.
What is happening in Sahd here

Sahd is complimenting Ben's British accent — and in doing so reveals the depth of the problem. The accent is not just something Sahd finds beautiful. It is something he hopes to have. He is measuring himself against a standard he does not meet and may never meet: the sound of native English.

Ben registers this as a danger signal. If left unaddressed, Sahd will spend years measuring his communication against a benchmark that is irrelevant to his actual capability. The aspiration to sound British as a marker of communication success is a trap. It ties worth to proximity to Englishness — a colonial standard of correct speech.

Ben does not say any of this aloud. He answers by demonstrating the opposite posture — and then gives Sahd the language to hold it himself.

Cultural Awareness Self-Concept Developmental Shift
Stage 5 1:05 The Moment Sahd is Told His Reach Has Value
Ben You speak more clearly than me, so kudos to you. But honestly — try and honour that you are on your third language, and never apologize for the other not being able to understand you. They should be apologizing to you.
What shifts in Sahd here

"You speak more clearly than me." This is not false modesty. It is a precision instrument. By positioning Sahd above himself in the hierarchy of clarity, Ben dismantles the idea that his nativeness confers superiority — and uses his own social capital as the English speaker to elevate Sahd. He is using his privilege to transfer power.

The word "honour" is significant. Ben does not say "be proud of" or "feel good about." He says honour — a word that implies duty, reverence, something that deserves to be taken seriously. He is not asking Sahd to manage his insecurity. He is asking him to treat his multilingualism as something sacred. That is a developmental reframe, not a pep talk.

Power & Authority Developmental Shift Cultural Awareness
Stage 6 1:37 Someone Names the System — and Sahd Hears It for the First Time
Ben Here's you learning all these beautiful languages. And then you get an obnoxious English person who can barely speak English — and you are apologizing to them. They should be apologizing to you. I believe there is an obnoxiousness with English people who expect everybody to speak English, and I think it's a terrible privilege.
What shifts in Sahd here — the system named

This is the most politically precise moment in the conversation. Ben names the system. Not "some people are rude" — but a structural critique: English-language expectation is a privilege, and privilege wielded unconsciously is obnoxiousness.

By naming the system, Ben does something therapeutically crucial: he externalises the source of Sahd's shame. The shame was never Sahd's to carry. It belongs to the structure — to centuries of English being positioned as the default tongue of commerce, law, and legitimacy. Sahd absorbed that structure. Ben is removing it from Sahd's body and holding it up to the light for what it is: an artefact of empire, not a measure of worth.

Cultural intelligence and psychodynamic work — in the same sentence.

Cultural Awareness Self-Concept Power & Authority
Stage 7 2:27 Sahd Gets Something to Do — A Script for the Next Room
Ben Just smile and be like, "would you like me to say that again?" — because you want to hold your self-esteem. You're not doing something inappropriate or incorrect. You could even do it in a joke way. You could say: "I'm sorry — it's my third language." But I don't want you feeling that your English needs to be better. You're doing brilliant. It's amazing that you speak three languages.
What Sahd receives here

Ben has shifted from the conceptual to the somatic. He has given Sahd a frame and a worldview. Now he gives him a body. A posture. A script he can inhabit in the room, under pressure, in the exact moment when the shame reflex would normally fire.

"Would you like me to say that again?" is a masterclass in a single sentence. It is calm. It signals competence. It subtly repositions the listener — putting the question of comprehension back on them rather than accepting it as Sahd's failure. And it gives Sahd something to do with his face, his voice — a physical anchor for a new self-concept.

The comedic option — "it's my third language" — is not a joke. It is a dominance tool. Humour deployed with confidence signals you are at ease in the room. It moves Sahd from supplicant to court-holder. Ben is teaching him to hold the space, not shrink in it.

Voice & Presence Developmental Shift Self-Concept
Stage 8 3:12 Sahd Speaks from a Different Place
Sahd I've learned — in a new thing — how I can express myself in a better way. That's really amazing. I'm very grateful.
What has changed in Sahd here

This is the moment of arrival. Clinically precise in what it shows.

Sahd does not say "I feel more confident." He says "I've learned how I can express myself in a better way." That is a different cognitive register entirely. He has not just received a compliment — he has installed a new operational framework. The learning is active. The agency is his.

The phrase "express myself" rather than "speak English" is significant. He has moved from a deficit model — English not good enough — to an expressive one: I have something to say and I know how to say it. In a clinical setting, this arc could take months. It took three minutes and twelve seconds. Because every intervention was aimed at the right level simultaneously.

Developmental Shift Self-Concept
Stage 9 3:36 Ben Reveals What He Does — After, Not Before
Ben My background is — I do mindset, coaching, therapy, hypnosis and business consultancy. I do a lot of this with people in general. I can tell by their dialect where they're feeling about themselves — and I just can't help but stop them at every interval and be like: no, you're doing fine. Because I can hear what they're saying here.
What this moment means for Sahd

Ben discloses his background at the end. Not the beginning. This sequencing is not accidental — it is the signature of a transformational leader rather than a credentialist. A credentialist establishes authority first: "I'm a coach, a therapist — so listen to me." Ben does the opposite. He intervenes first, as a human being, and then contextualises it. By the time Sahd hears the credentials, he has already experienced their output.

"I can tell by their dialect where they're feeling about themselves." This is the Justice Minds Process stated in plain language. Dialect — word choice, rhythm, the structure of the apology, the position of the self-diminishment within the sentence — is diagnostic data. Ben reads it like a forensic scientist reads a scene. Most people hear the words. Ben hears the emotional architecture behind them.

Power & Authority Voice & Presence Self-Concept
Stage 10 4:27 The Last Seven Words — and What They Change Forever
Ben It's fine-tuning your performance — rather than improvement.
What these seven words do for Sahd

"Improvement" implies you are currently deficient. It implies a gap between where you are and where you should be. It is the vocabulary of the apology reflex — the same worldview that made Sahd say sorry before the conversation began.

"Fine-tuning your performance" implies you are already performing. Already capable. Already arrived. You are simply making something already good into something excellent. That is not a motivational reframe — it is an ontological one. It changes what kind of thing Sahd is. He is not a student fixing errors. He is a performer refining craft.

This distinction — improvement versus fine-tuning — is the distilled essence of the Justice Minds Process. Every intervention in this conversation has done exactly that: found what is already working, and made it more precise.

Voice & Presence Developmental Shift Power & Authority

Watch the Whole Conversation

Now watch it from the beginning — with everything you know. Four minutes and forty seconds. One man's transformation, in real time.

The Frame Inversion

Relocating shame, blame or deficiency: from the person to the system or behaviour that produced it. Not "your confidence is low." But "the system that made you feel deficient is wrong — and here is the evidence."

If You Recognise Yourself in Sahd

This conversation is not rare. It happens every day — in offices in Dhaka and Dubai, in boardrooms in Lagos and London, in seminar rooms in Singapore and São Paulo. It happens to the Indian master's graduate who apologises for his accent before presenting to a British team. It happens to the Bangladeshi professional who over-explains herself in every meeting, convinced the room is waiting for her to fail. It happens to the Nigerian consultant who speaks five languages and still shrinks in the presence of someone who speaks one [1].

If you are reading this and you recognise the apology — the reflex that fires before the idea, the constant low-grade monitoring of how you land in English-speaking spaces — you are not deficient. You are carrying something that was never yours to carry.

The shame belongs to the system that handed it to you. The work is in giving it back.

That work is what Ben Mak does. Not in lecture halls. Not with textbooks. In conversation — by reading what you carry in the way you speak, and responding to all of it at once.

Work with Ben Mak

Ben Mak works with international professionals, leaders, and organisations across the UK and globally — applying the Justice Minds Process to communication, identity, authority, and presence in cross-cultural settings.

Whether you are navigating a new culture, building your voice in a second or third language, leading across difference, or developing the next generation of international talent — the work begins with one conversation.

Ben's background spans mindset coaching, therapy, hypnosis, forensic intelligence, and business consultancy. He does not apply a single framework. He reads the full person — and responds to what he finds.

To enquire about coaching, training, or institutional programmes: Contact Justice Minds Forensic Intelligence Ltd directly.

"I can tell by their dialect where they're feeling about themselves — and I just can't help but stop them at every interval and be like: no, you're doing fine." — Ben Mak

What Sahd Left With

He arrived at 9:03am apologising for being alive in a language that is not his first, second, or third tongue — positioning himself as an inconvenience, a miscommunication waiting to happen, a person who must constantly translate his existence for the convenience of those around him.

Four minutes and forty seconds later:

The Four-Minute Transfer

  • His multilingualism reframed: from deficiency to elite capability
  • A verbal script for the next room: "Would you like me to say that again?"
  • An understanding that the shame was never his — it belonged to the structure
  • A new identity: not a student improving, but a performer fine-tuning
  • The experience of being fully seen — not managed, not processed, but genuinely met
He left different than he arrived. That is the only metric that matters.

[1] Research on accent bias in professional environments consistently shows that non-native English accents — particularly from South Asia, the Middle East, and sub-Saharan Africa — are rated as less competent in Western workplace settings, independent of actual linguistic clarity. This is not a communication deficit. It is a perception bias embedded in institutions that treat British and American English as the unmarked standard of professional communication. The Justice Minds Process is developed in direct response to this structural reality — training individuals and organisations to recognise, name, and dismantle accent-based and language-based hierarchies in professional life.